How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Relationship

Communication is the foundational building blocks for any relationship that is healthy and lasting. This act can be something as simple as talking about the weather or as complex as what your long term goals are.

Being able to have discussions about your relationship itself carries an additional challenge. This can contain sensitive topics that are uncomfortable to bring up. Or you may just be unfamiliar with having certain conversations.

Overcoming this challenge is important to maintain a strong bond with your partner and continue to grow together. Here are some tips to have an effective discussion.

Choosing the Right Place and Time

With all the hustle and bustle that goes on in our daily lives, you want to carefully plan the when and where for having relationship conversations. You don’t want to bring up any sensitive issues in the process of walking out the door to go to work. Not only are you not able to dive into details in that moment, but you have to sit with it all day and let the thought fester.

Choose a time where you’re both able to direct your attention towards the conversation that needs to be had. Select a place where you’re not surrounded by distractions or needing to multi-task other activities.

Be Honest with Each Other

Any time you’re having a conversation about your relationship, you want to practice honesty and transparency. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings beforehand so you’re prepared to share what’s on your mind.

Your partner can’t read your mind, so be willing to go there and get deep with them. You can’t fix anything if the facts aren’t there. No matter what you’re bringing to the table, make sure you’re respective in your presentation.

Use “I” Statements

Whenever possible, you want to lead in with “I” statements. Frame your feelings this way rather than making “you” statements to prevent any emotional escalation.

When you focus on your feelings, you avoid the appearance of attacking your partner.

Be an Active Listener

When you explore sensitive topics with your partner, part of the equation is being open and honest. The other part is being a good listener when they share their views and feelings.

Active listening is something that may take some practice to get in the habit of. Most people when having a conversation start to formulate their response before the other person is done speaking. Unfortunately, this can lead to missed information and ineffective dialogue.

Give your partner your full attention and avoid any interrupting when it is their turn to speak.

Be Solution Oriented

If you’re having a conversation about your relationship, odds are you have some outcome in mind that you’re looking to achieve. When you open the door for a discussion, keep your focus on finding a solution rather than getting stuck on any issues or blaming.

Don’t set out to air grievances with no game plan in mind. Instead, work together to come up with a shared way to achieve your goals.

Setting a Follow-Up

After you have a discussion, plan to check in with each other. See how progress is going towards what you’ve talked about during the initial conversation. Do you need to make any changes to your actions? Is anything not working as intended? What things are going well?

You may find benefit from holding regular check ins to keep your lines of communication open with each other. This can make these types of discussions more normal and easier as time goes on.

Consider Professional Help

If you’re struggling to find that connection with your partner or approach having serious talks, seeking outside guidance could be beneficial. Working with a therapist can allow you to establish new strategies and practice communication efforts in a different way.

Contact me to get started!